Caring for Children

Advertising ideas

2008-10-03T23:30:01Z

This particular post doesn't have anything to do with caring for children - but it does have ideas on how to get kids into daycares in order to care for them! :)

Advertising ideas for home daycares:

-Door hang with home made flyers
-Walk through parking lots putting flyers on cars
-Make a blog
-Craigslist
-Vistaprint - lots of free advertising ideas
-Donate books to doctors offices and have your card taped to the front cover
-Have a website
-Rent a billboard (some are only $8/day, I've been told)
-Radio ad
-Have an open house, advertise on craigslist
-Meet people wherever you go who have kids
-Put a link in your signature on message boards
-Tell your friends on Myspace, friendster, facebook friends a message, I know your not allowed to spam
-Business cards: leave them on grocery store bulletin boards, hand them out, etc. Get creative, leave them in restrooms and other places that people frequent!
-Write a song about it and post it on youtube!
-Give candy, flowers, toys, etc. with your flier or card
-Network with other providers
-Word of mouth!!

Separation Anxiety

2006-08-10T20:52:40Z

http://www.drgreene.com/21_1183.html

Introduction:
Your baby has been able to tell the difference between you and strangers from the earliest days of life. Young babies prefer their mothers and fathers (and others who are frequently involved), but will usually respond happily to others as well.

Until…

They begin to get upset when others come too close – even regular babysitters, grandparents (who may feel heartbroken), or one of the parents (who may feel very unsettled by this).

At about the same time, most babies begin to fuss and cry whenever you leave their sight, sometimes even to step into the next room!

What is it?
Separation anxiety and stranger anxiety both coincide with a new intellectual skill called object permanence. They now remember objects and specific people that are not present. They will search for toys that have dropped out of sight. They are able to call up a mental image of what (or who) they are missing. They don’t want the stranger, because the stranger is not you.

They understand about people leaving before they learn about people returning. They can tell from your actions that you are about to leave. Anxiety begins to build even before you leave.

They can’t tell from your actions that you are about to return. They have no idea when – or even if – you will come back. And they miss you intensely. For them, each separation seems endless.

Dropping a screaming child at day care tugs at parents' hearts. Much nighttime screaming is an expression of separation anxiety. Sleep is a scary separation.

Peek-a-boo and bye-bye are fun ways for us to interact with babies. For babies at this age, these are issues of great concern.

Who gets it?
Most healthy babies and toddlers exhibit at least one phase of stranger/separation anxiety as part of normal development.

A small number of school-aged children and adolescents will develop separation anxiety disorder (SAD), an intense fear of harm to parents and a refusal to tolerate separation, even for school or sleep.

What are the symptoms?
Object permanence is usually first noted when a baby searches for a toy that has fallen out of sight.

The symptoms of normal developmental separation anxiety include increasing anxiety at signs that demonstrate that you are about to leave. Upset and crying occur at the time of separation, and often at the approach of others. Sleep difficulties are common.

Is it contagious?
Anxiety can be contagious. The more anxious you are about leave-taking or about others caring for your baby, the more anxious your baby will be.

How long does it last?
The first peak of separation anxiety usually takes place in the second half of the first year, and lasts for about 2 to 4 months, though there is great variability in this.

There is often a second peak in the second half of the next year. At this time, toddlers have emerging language skills and a strong desire to communicate. They have developed a rich, multimedia array of ways to communicate with you that strangers just don’t understand. The second peak of separation anxiety usually fades as language skills improve.

In some children, the two peaks run together, resulting in separation anxiety for up to 8 months or so at a stretch.

Separation is usually a dominant issue from about 6 months until language is understood by strangers.

How is it diagnosed?
Normal separation anxiety is not a diagnosis.

The uncommon separation anxiety disorder (SAD) is diagnosed by mental health professionals based in the history and interview.

How is it treated?
Once children have learned about leaving, you want them to learn about returning. Separation/return games, and short practice separations are quite helpful.

The classic separation/return games are peek-a-boo and “where’s the baby?”

I like playing peek-a-boo with the feet. With the baby lying on his back, lift the legs “up, up, up” to hide your face, and then “Peek-a-boo!” as you open the legs wide. Often babies love to open their legs themselves to find you.

In “Where’s the Baby?”, drop a lightweight cloth over your baby’s head, ask, “Where’s the baby?” and pull the cloth again grinning and saying, “There you are!” Soon your baby will delight at pulling the cloth off and laughing. The cloth can also be placed over your own head, or you can partially hide behind a chair or around a corner where you will be easily discovered.

Hiding and finding objects is another fun form of separation/return play; under clothes or buckets, anywhere the baby can delight in finding you.

With practice separations, tell your baby that you will be going to another room and that you’ll be back soon (even though the baby will not understand the words yet). If there’s crying, repeat the reassurance that you’ll be back soon. Then pop back in smiling and say, “Hello”. “Bye-bye” is one of the first words most babies learn. You want to teach them to understand hello as soon as you can. Gradually make these practice separations longer and longer. The baby will learn that you’ll come and that it’s okay when you are gone for a bit.

When you really leave, good-byes should be brief, affectionate, and with a clear statement that you will be back. If the caregiver can engage your child with a toy or mirror, it can make your leaving easier. If you are leaving your child at a day care or someplace other than home, the separation will be easier if you spend a few minutes there with your child (and also with the new caregiver).

Transitional objects, such as blankets or stuffed animals, are healthy ways to minimize separation anxiety.

Regular routines make the “returning” lesson easier to learn.

How can it be prevented?
Helping your child select a transitional object can help reduce separation anxiety.

During the ages when separation is a big issue, you want to avoid prolonged absences and avoid having your child cared for by someone who will not look at her and smile.

When you must leave, do not make a big fuss over leaving and do not sneak out. Children need a simple, direct, “Bye-bye, I’ll be back.” Be sure to tell them when you’ll be back.

Separation anxiety is more pronounced when children are tired, hungry, or sick. Try to time separations when they are happy and satisfied.

Helping kids to sleep/nap on their own

2006-08-02T21:38:58Z

http://www.drgreene.com/21_631.html

Tips For Helping Children Sleep In Their Own Beds

Many families throughout history have chosen a "family bed." In fact, in most cultures around the world today a "family bed" is the norm. If that is a family's choice, it can work very well. However, having a "family bed" is not for everyone. It also works well to teach children to sleep in their own beds. Here are some tips on how to help children sleep in their own beds:
It does not work well to tell children to sleep in their bed and then relent when they act up. This only teaches them that their persistence will be rewarded with a trip to your bed.

The best approach is to discover the underlying cause or causes for your child's behavior. At some level, your child knows why she doesn't want to sleep in her own bed, even if she isn't able to articulate what she is feeling. If you ask her outright what she is feeling, you may not get any valuable information.

A great way of discovering what your child is feeling is to play with her using dolls or action figures to represent members of a family. Have the characters act out several typical family situations: mealtime, going to the park, driving in the car, etc. Enact several of these non-threatening situations, and let your child put words into the figures' mouths. When you get to bedtime, if your child is hesitant to talk, you can try speaking for the characters. If your child has gotten into the play, she will correct you if you give the characters motivations that are inaccurate from her perspective.

Another approach is to encourage your child to color or paint while she tells you about what she is creating. Be sure to allow her lots of time to open up and don't react negatively if she says something you don't want to hear.

The things you are most likely to find are: your child has night time fears, i.e. she is afraid of the dark, being alone, closet monsters, etc.; she is jealous of one parent or a sibling; she is afraid of losing your affection if she "grows up"; or some variation of one or more of these.

If your child is suffering from night time fears, give her tools that empower her to overcome her fears:
o Give her a flashlight to play with (especially during the day in a darkened room) to help overcome fear of the dark.
o Give her a spray bottle filled with "monster spray" so she can shoot the monsters if they come out.
o Record a tape of her favorite stories and songs that she can turn on whenever she is feeling alone or afraid (it is best if the recording is of your voice).
o Give her a stuffed animal as big as she is to sleep with.
o Ask her for suggestions.

If the primary reason your child wants to sleep with you is night time fears, you should be able to switch her into her own bed as soon as she has the tools to cope with her fears.

If you discover that your child is jealous of one parent or a sibling, evaluate the situation and determine if she has reason to be jealous. If she has a younger sibling who is getting most of your attention during the day, she may feel the only time she "gets you" is at night. The best way you can help overcome her jealously is to pay special attention to her when she is not asking for it.

If your child reveals that she is afraid that she will lose your affection when she grows up, take stock of what you are communicating to her regarding growing up. You may inadvertently be sending her the message that you want her to stay a baby. If this is the case, consider how you can change her feelings by the way you communicate with her.

You will need to take some time for your child’s feelings to change before you can move her into her own bed. When you do, you may need to make the change in several stages. The first few nights she might sleep on the floor beside your bed. The next move might be right outside your door, then into her own bed. The large stuffed animal or the tape recording of your voice may help ease the transition.

Temper Tantrums

2006-04-25T16:55:41Z

http://www.drgreene.com/21_565.html

My 25 month-old son throws temper tantrums at the worst possible times, like in the grocery store (which happened to me yesterday). What do I do? I'm so embarrassed!
Anonymous

Dr. Greene: You are not alone! Most parents who have had a two-year-old have experienced the same situation and the same feelings. Temper tantrums are very common at this age, and when viewed in context, they can be an extremely constructive part of the development of a healthy child.

Newborns and infants are quite happy as long as their basic physical needs are met. Children in the developmental stage known as the "Terrible Twos," or "First Adolescence," become aware of the choices available to them and as a result become angry or frustrated when they are powerless over those choices. The result is often "Temper Tantrums" or what I like to call "Emotional Storms."

Let's look at the example you mentioned of the grocery store -- as an adult, you can choose whether or not you want to go to the grocery store, when to go, what products you are going to buy, and which products you will not purchase. When you are in the middle of shopping in the grocery store, your child will see things he wants. To make the supermarket situation worse, there are cleverly-designed packages up and down the aisles that scream, "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!" To a large extent we are able to tune that out (although it affects us much more than we think). For a small child who is just learning to make choices, it's like going to a deafening rock concert. Visually they are overwhelmed by high-decibel choices. They are compelled to start wanting multiple attractive items. When they can't have what they want, they dissolve into tears and worse -- deafening screams. Of course, everybody in the store turns and looks at your child, and (shudder) at you!

Surveys have shown that there are two common reactions of parents in this situation. The first is to spank or discipline the child in some way. Our role during this phase is to teach our children to make choices, to teach them to grow up as independent, highly functioning people. If you discipline a child for a temper tantrum in a store, you are teaching a powerful unconscious lesson: down the road, when he or she is in second adolescence, and is confused, hurting, scared, and doesn't know what choices to make -- don't talk to Mom or Dad, because they will not understand and it will hurt.

The second major way that people deal with temper tantrums in stores is to give the children whatever they had the temper tantrums to get. Basically, this teaches kids that if they cry hard enough, or act out sufficiently, they will get whatever they want. We don't want to teach our children that either.

So, what does one do about temper tantrums? Try to avoid emotional storms whenever possible. Children are most susceptible to storms when they are tired, hungry, uncomfortable or bored. When possible, plan shopping for times when your child is rested, fed, and healthy. Interact with your son throughout shopping and/or bring along stimulating toys or books.

Remember the situation from your child's perspective: you are going along making choice, after choice, after choice, but when he tries to make a choice, he doesn't get what he wants. You can see how frustrating this would be. It's often helpful to let your child pick out one or two things when at the store. A good way to do this is when a child asks for something, instead of saying, "No," (which will immediately make him or her say, "Yes!") say, "Let's write that down." Then write it down. When your child asks for something else, write that down, too. Then when you are all done, read back a few of the things on the list that you think would be good choices, and let him pick one or two of the things on the list. If children can make some choices, they will both learn more and feel better. Another thing that is really worthwhile is for you to make a list before you go to the store. That way it won't look so arbitrary when you pick what you want off the shelf, and your child doesn't get his choice. As you shop, whenever you put something in your basket, check it off your list (even if it is not on your list, check it off. The list is to teach that each item has a purpose, not that you had thought of it previously).

These strategies can greatly reduce the number of emotional storms, but their appearance is inevitable. What then?

First, take a deep breath. I've been in a grocery store with my children having temper tantrums, as a pediatrician, with my patients in the checkout line. The first thing you feel is, "I just wish I could drop into the floor someplace so nobody would see me." A lot of people won't understand. They will look at you and think your child is spoiled, or you are a bad parent. The truth of the matter is you probably have a normal child and are a good parent.

It is not a defect in parenting that your child is acting this way. People who don't have kids may not understand, yet. That is their problem, though. Try to be patient with them.

When I see a parent whose child is having a tantrum in a store, I am reminded of labor. When I look at a mom in labor, I see something that is heroic, and triumphant, and beautiful. Tears come to my eyes when I am privileged to be a part of a birth. So, the next time this painful situation happens to you, take a deep breath and remember, if Dr. Greene were here, he would see something heroic and beautiful.

Next, while you are taking a deep breath, consciously relax. Kids really play off your emotions. It's so hard to relax in this situation, but just let your muscles go. The more uptight you are, the more energy is available for their tantrums. Kids thrive on attention, even negative attention.

Where you go from here depends on your child. Some children will calm down if you pick them up and hold them. My first son was like that. His storm would dissolve if you just gave him a big hug and told him it would be all right. If you picked up my second son during a storm, he would hit you -- there are different ways to get him to calm down. Each child is unique. One thing that often works very well is to try to voice to the child what he is going through. "You must really want to get this, don't you?" Then he may melt and say, "Uh huh." You will have to experiment with your son to see what it is that can help him understand that everything is okay, these bad feelings will pass, and that it's all a normal part of growing up.

Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Giving in to tantrums is what spoils a child. Giving in is the easiest, quickest solution in the short run, but it damages your child, prolongs this phase, and ultimately creates far more discomfort for you. Choosing your son's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic.

Instead you might say, "Sorry, I would love to give you what you want, but because you had a temper tantrum, I can't right now. Next time, let's do that." Stand by your child during this difficult time for both of you. When you feel yourself getting tense, again say to yourself: temper tantrums are a beautiful, albeit painful, part of growing up, so take a deep breath, relax, and remember, "Dr. Greene thinks you are beautiful, courageous, and worthy of high praise!"

Hard Boiled Eggs

2006-04-14T00:20:02Z

From another provider:

These are the results of my very non-scientific egg-boiling experiment!

I hard boiled 96 eggs last night. I tried a few different methods and I've come to the conclusion that:

The 20-minute boiling method and the 3-minute boil, 17 minute sit method both produced hard boiled eggs. Some I ran under cold water after, some I did not. I cracked a few open, and some had green rings, and some did not, but the green occurred in both sets of eggs, no matter if they were run under cold water or not.

Hard boiling an egg in the microwave made it explode.

Putting an egg into water and leaving it in the sun all day to "cook" did not hard boil an egg.

Playing music for the eggs as they were boiling did not have an affect on their ability to boil well. We played rock, and country, and a soundtrack for a musical. Singing along did not impair the eggs either.

Feeding the hard-boiled egg yolks to my dog gave her bad, room-clearing gas. It did the same to my 12-year old daughter.

Cleaning Toys

2006-04-08T00:32:37Z

Dishwasher for any toys that are dishwasher safe. Larger toys go into the downstairs tub for bleaching. Toys that are frequently "mouthed" go into a laundry basket after the mouthing, I run those through the dishwasher during naptime and return them to their places before the kids wake up.

The laundry basket makes it easy for the providers without dishwashers, too, because they could just spray down the toys and rinse them in the tub while still in the basket, and allow to drip dry.

Nap Time Helps

2006-03-24T20:44:08Z

Naptime has been an occasional struggle for me. I am with the others who are firm about naptime. It is my down time, I need the break because I work long days. I require all children to rest quietly, if they choose not to sleep then they must lay quietly on their mat for the entire nap time.

All children are allowed one stuffed animal or doll to lay with and if they start talking or playing around they lose the toy. Next they lose their blanket and then pillow if it comes down to that. Usually I don't have to take anything away, they know I mean business. I play soft instrumental music to help them relax and most children do sleep at naptime. I have one who usually doesn't but she sleeps in really late in the morning and arrives right before lunch.

Another thing I do is figure what works best for each where I place their mat. One child will play and be silly if she is in a place where she can see others and others can see her, so I place her mat behind a shelf so that she feels isolated and falls right to sleep. Another child will play and talk and talk and talk if she CAN'T see me, so her mat is right next to my computer desk and she falls asleep quickly.

Some of it is trial and error and most of it is being consistent and establishing consequences. These days people feel like giving consequences equals being mean, but it is actually giving security to the children and helps the day to run more smoothly. Kids act out when they don't know what is going and they feel so much more secure when they know the boundaries.