Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in caring4children's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 3rd, 2008
4:13 pm	Advertising ideas This particular post doesn't have anything to do with caring for children - but it does have ideas on how to get kids into daycares in order to care for them! :) Advertising ideas for home daycares: -Door hang with home made flyers -Walk through parking lots putting flyers on cars -Make a blog -Craigslist -Vistaprint - lots of free advertising ideas -Donate books to doctors offices and have your card taped to the front cover -Have a website -Rent a billboard (some are only $8/day, I've been told) -Radio ad -Have an open house, advertise on craigslist -Meet people wherever you go who have kids -Put a link in your signature on message boards -Tell your friends on Myspace, friendster, facebook friends a message, I know your not allowed to spam -Business cards: leave them on grocery store bulletin boards, hand them out, etc. Get creative, leave them in restrooms and other places that people frequent! -Write a song about it and post it on youtube! -Give candy, flowers, toys, etc. with your flier or card -Network with other providers -Word of mouth!! (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
1:51 pm	Separation Anxiety http://www.drgreene.com/21_1183.html Introduction: Your baby has been able to tell the difference between you and strangers from the earliest days of life. Young babies prefer their mothers and fathers (and others who are frequently involved), but will usually respond happily to others as well. Until… They begin to get upset when others come too close – even regular babysitters, grandparents (who may feel heartbroken), or one of the parents (who may feel very unsettled by this). At about the same time, most babies begin to fuss and cry whenever you leave their sight, sometimes even to step into the next room! What is it? Separation anxiety and stranger anxiety both coincide with a new intellectual skill called object permanence. They now remember objects and specific people that are not present. They will search for toys that have dropped out of sight. They are able to call up a mental image of what (or who) they are missing. They don’t want the stranger, because the stranger is not you. They understand about people leaving before they learn about people returning. They can tell from your actions that you are about to leave. Anxiety begins to build even before you leave. They can’t tell from your actions that you are about to return. They have no idea when – or even if – you will come back. And they miss you intensely. For them, each separation seems endless. Dropping a screaming child at day care tugs at parents' hearts. Much nighttime screaming is an expression of separation anxiety. Sleep is a scary separation. Peek-a-boo and bye-bye are fun ways for us to interact with babies. For babies at this age, these are issues of great concern. Who gets it? Most healthy babies and toddlers exhibit at least one phase of stranger/separation anxiety as part of normal development. A small number of school-aged children and adolescents will develop separation anxiety disorder (SAD), an intense fear of harm to parents and a refusal to tolerate separation, even for school or sleep. What are the symptoms? Object permanence is usually first noted when a baby searches for a toy that has fallen out of sight. The symptoms of normal developmental separation anxiety include increasing anxiety at signs that demonstrate that you are about to leave. Upset and crying occur at the time of separation, and often at the approach of others. Sleep difficulties are common. Is it contagious? Anxiety can be contagious. The more anxious you are about leave-taking or about others caring for your baby, the more anxious your baby will be. How long does it last? The first peak of separation anxiety usually takes place in the second half of the first year, and lasts for about 2 to 4 months, though there is great variability in this. There is often a second peak in the second half of the next year. At this time, toddlers have emerging language skills and a strong desire to communicate. They have developed a rich, multimedia array of ways to communicate with you that strangers just don’t understand. The second peak of separation anxiety usually fades as language skills improve. In some children, the two peaks run together, resulting in separation anxiety for up to 8 months or so at a stretch. Separation is usually a dominant issue from about 6 months until language is understood by strangers. How is it diagnosed? Normal separation anxiety is not a diagnosis. The uncommon separation anxiety disorder (SAD) is diagnosed by mental health professionals based in the history and interview. How is it treated? Once children have learned about leaving, you want them to learn about returning. Separation/return games, and short practice separations are quite helpful. The classic separation/return games are peek-a-boo and “where’s the baby?” I like playing peek-a-boo with the feet. With the baby lying on his back, lift the legs “up, up, up” to hide your face, and then “Peek-a-boo!” as you open the legs wide. Often babies love to open their legs themselves to find you. In “Where’s the Baby?”, drop a lightweight cloth over your baby’s head, ask, “Where’s the baby?” and pull the cloth again grinning and saying, “There you are!” Soon your baby will delight at pulling the cloth off and laughing. The cloth can also be placed over your own head, or you can partially hide behind a chair or around a corner where you will be easily discovered. Hiding and finding objects is another fun form of separation/return play; under clothes or buckets, anywhere the baby can delight in finding you. With practice separations, tell your baby that you will be going to another room and that you’ll be back soon (even though the baby will not understand the words yet). If there’s crying, repeat the reassurance that you’ll be back soon. Then pop back in smiling and say, “Hello”. “Bye-bye” is one of the first words most babies learn. You want to teach them to understand hello as soon as you can. Gradually make these practice separations longer and longer. The baby will learn that you’ll come and that it’s okay when you are gone for a bit. When you really leave, good-byes should be brief, affectionate, and with a clear statement that you will be back. If the caregiver can engage your child with a toy or mirror, it can make your leaving easier. If you are leaving your child at a day care or someplace other than home, the separation will be easier if you spend a few minutes there with your child (and also with the new caregiver). Transitional objects, such as blankets or stuffed animals, are healthy ways to minimize separation anxiety. Regular routines make the “returning” lesson easier to learn. How can it be prevented? Helping your child select a transitional object can help reduce separation anxiety. During the ages when separation is a big issue, you want to avoid prolonged absences and avoid having your child cared for by someone who will not look at her and smile. When you must leave, do not make a big fuss over leaving and do not sneak out. Children need a simple, direct, “Bye-bye, I’ll be back.” Be sure to tell them when you’ll be back. Separation anxiety is more pronounced when children are tired, hungry, or sick. Try to time separations when they are happy and satisfied. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
2:34 pm	Helping kids to sleep/nap on their own http://www.drgreene.com/21_631.html Tips For Helping Children Sleep In Their Own Beds Many families throughout history have chosen a "family bed." In fact, in most cultures around the world today a "family bed" is the norm. If that is a family's choice, it can work very well. However, having a "family bed" is not for everyone. It also works well to teach children to sleep in their own beds. Here are some tips on how to help children sleep in their own beds: It does not work well to tell children to sleep in their bed and then relent when they act up. This only teaches them that their persistence will be rewarded with a trip to your bed. The best approach is to discover the underlying cause or causes for your child's behavior. At some level, your child knows why she doesn't want to sleep in her own bed, even if she isn't able to articulate what she is feeling. If you ask her outright what she is feeling, you may not get any valuable information. A great way of discovering what your child is feeling is to play with her using dolls or action figures to represent members of a family. Have the characters act out several typical family situations: mealtime, going to the park, driving in the car, etc. Enact several of these non-threatening situations, and let your child put words into the figures' mouths. When you get to bedtime, if your child is hesitant to talk, you can try speaking for the characters. If your child has gotten into the play, she will correct you if you give the characters motivations that are inaccurate from her perspective. Another approach is to encourage your child to color or paint while she tells you about what she is creating. Be sure to allow her lots of time to open up and don't react negatively if she says something you don't want to hear. The things you are most likely to find are: your child has night time fears, i.e. she is afraid of the dark, being alone, closet monsters, etc.; she is jealous of one parent or a sibling; she is afraid of losing your affection if she "grows up"; or some variation of one or more of these. If your child is suffering from night time fears, give her tools that empower her to overcome her fears: o Give her a flashlight to play with (especially during the day in a darkened room) to help overcome fear of the dark. o Give her a spray bottle filled with "monster spray" so she can shoot the monsters if they come out. o Record a tape of her favorite stories and songs that she can turn on whenever she is feeling alone or afraid (it is best if the recording is of your voice). o Give her a stuffed animal as big as she is to sleep with. o Ask her for suggestions. If the primary reason your child wants to sleep with you is night time fears, you should be able to switch her into her own bed as soon as she has the tools to cope with her fears. If you discover that your child is jealous of one parent or a sibling, evaluate the situation and determine if she has reason to be jealous. If she has a younger sibling who is getting most of your attention during the day, she may feel the only time she "gets you" is at night. The best way you can help overcome her jealously is to pay special attention to her when she is not asking for it. If your child reveals that she is afraid that she will lose your affection when she grows up, take stock of what you are communicating to her regarding growing up. You may inadvertently be sending her the message that you want her to stay a baby. If this is the case, consider how you can change her feelings by the way you communicate with her. You will need to take some time for your child’s feelings to change before you can move her into her own bed. When you do, you may need to make the change in several stages. The first few nights she might sleep on the floor beside your bed. The next move might be right outside your door, then into her own bed. The large stuffed animal or the tape recording of your voice may help ease the transition. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
10:08 am	Surviving Temper Tantrums http://www.drgreene.com/21_632.html Tips For Surviving Temper Tantrums Temper tantrums are very common, especially in children 2 to 3 years of age. When viewed in context, temper tantrums can be an extremely constructive part of the development of a healthy child. That said, there are still a few things you can do to minimize their impact on you and those around you. First, here are some suggestions for preventing temper tantrums: Try to avoid emotional storms whenever possible. Children are most susceptible to storms when they are tired, hungry, uncomfortable or bored. When possible, plan shopping for times when your child is rested, fed, and healthy. Interact with your child throughout shopping and/or bring along stimulating toys or books. Remember the situation from your child's perspective: you are going along making choice, after choice, after choice, but when he tries to make a choice, he doesn't get what he wants. It's often helpful to let your child pick out one or two things when at the store. A good way to do this is when a child asks for something, instead of saying, "No," (which will immediately make him or her say, "Yes!") say, "Let's write that down." Then write it down. When your child asks for something else, write that down, too. Then when you are all done, read back a few of the things on the list that you think would be good choices, and let him pick one or two of the things on the list. Make a list before you go to the store. That way it won't look so arbitrary when you pick what you want off the shelf, and your child doesn't get his choice. As you shop, whenever you put something in your basket, check it off your list. Even if it is not on your list, check it off. These strategies can greatly reduce the number of emotional storms, but their appearance is inevitable. What then? First, take a deep breath. I've been in a grocery store with my children having temper tantrums, as a pediatrician, with my patients in the checkout line. The first thing you feel is, "I just wish I could drop into the floor someplace so nobody would see me." While you are taking a deep breath, consciously relax. Kids really play off your emotions. It's so hard to relax in this situation, but just let your muscles go. The more uptight you are, the more energy is available for their tantrums. Kids thrive on attention, even negative attention. Some children will calm down if you pick them up and hold them. Each child is unique. One thing that often works very well is to try to voice to the child what he is going through. "You must really want to get this, don't you?" Then he may melt and say, "Uh huh." You will have to experiment with your child to see what it is that can help him understand that everything is okay, these bad feelings will pass, and that it's all a normal part of growing up. Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Choosing your child's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic. Instead of giving your child what he wants, you might say, "Sorry, I would love to give you what you want, but because you had a temper tantrum, I can't right now. Next time, let's do that." Stand by your child during this difficult time for both of you. (Comment on this)
9:49 am	Temper Tantrums http://www.drgreene.com/21_565.html My 25 month-old son throws temper tantrums at the worst possible times, like in the grocery store (which happened to me yesterday). What do I do? I'm so embarrassed! Anonymous Dr. Greene: You are not alone! Most parents who have had a two-year-old have experienced the same situation and the same feelings. Temper tantrums are very common at this age, and when viewed in context, they can be an extremely constructive part of the development of a healthy child. Newborns and infants are quite happy as long as their basic physical needs are met. Children in the developmental stage known as the "Terrible Twos," or "First Adolescence," become aware of the choices available to them and as a result become angry or frustrated when they are powerless over those choices. The result is often "Temper Tantrums" or what I like to call "Emotional Storms." Let's look at the example you mentioned of the grocery store -- as an adult, you can choose whether or not you want to go to the grocery store, when to go, what products you are going to buy, and which products you will not purchase. When you are in the middle of shopping in the grocery store, your child will see things he wants. To make the supermarket situation worse, there are cleverly-designed packages up and down the aisles that scream, "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me!" To a large extent we are able to tune that out (although it affects us much more than we think). For a small child who is just learning to make choices, it's like going to a deafening rock concert. Visually they are overwhelmed by high-decibel choices. They are compelled to start wanting multiple attractive items. When they can't have what they want, they dissolve into tears and worse -- deafening screams. Of course, everybody in the store turns and looks at your child, and (shudder) at you! Surveys have shown that there are two common reactions of parents in this situation. The first is to spank or discipline the child in some way. Our role during this phase is to teach our children to make choices, to teach them to grow up as independent, highly functioning people. If you discipline a child for a temper tantrum in a store, you are teaching a powerful unconscious lesson: down the road, when he or she is in second adolescence, and is confused, hurting, scared, and doesn't know what choices to make -- don't talk to Mom or Dad, because they will not understand and it will hurt. The second major way that people deal with temper tantrums in stores is to give the children whatever they had the temper tantrums to get. Basically, this teaches kids that if they cry hard enough, or act out sufficiently, they will get whatever they want. We don't want to teach our children that either. So, what does one do about temper tantrums? Try to avoid emotional storms whenever possible. Children are most susceptible to storms when they are tired, hungry, uncomfortable or bored. When possible, plan shopping for times when your child is rested, fed, and healthy. Interact with your son throughout shopping and/or bring along stimulating toys or books. Remember the situation from your child's perspective: you are going along making choice, after choice, after choice, but when he tries to make a choice, he doesn't get what he wants. You can see how frustrating this would be. It's often helpful to let your child pick out one or two things when at the store. A good way to do this is when a child asks for something, instead of saying, "No," (which will immediately make him or her say, "Yes!") say, "Let's write that down." Then write it down. When your child asks for something else, write that down, too. Then when you are all done, read back a few of the things on the list that you think would be good choices, and let him pick one or two of the things on the list. If children can make some choices, they will both learn more and feel better. Another thing that is really worthwhile is for you to make a list before you go to the store. That way it won't look so arbitrary when you pick what you want off the shelf, and your child doesn't get his choice. As you shop, whenever you put something in your basket, check it off your list (even if it is not on your list, check it off. The list is to teach that each item has a purpose, not that you had thought of it previously). These strategies can greatly reduce the number of emotional storms, but their appearance is inevitable. What then? First, take a deep breath. I've been in a grocery store with my children having temper tantrums, as a pediatrician, with my patients in the checkout line. The first thing you feel is, "I just wish I could drop into the floor someplace so nobody would see me." A lot of people won't understand. They will look at you and think your child is spoiled, or you are a bad parent. The truth of the matter is you probably have a normal child and are a good parent. It is not a defect in parenting that your child is acting this way. People who don't have kids may not understand, yet. That is their problem, though. Try to be patient with them. When I see a parent whose child is having a tantrum in a store, I am reminded of labor. When I look at a mom in labor, I see something that is heroic, and triumphant, and beautiful. Tears come to my eyes when I am privileged to be a part of a birth. So, the next time this painful situation happens to you, take a deep breath and remember, if Dr. Greene were here, he would see something heroic and beautiful. Next, while you are taking a deep breath, consciously relax. Kids really play off your emotions. It's so hard to relax in this situation, but just let your muscles go. The more uptight you are, the more energy is available for their tantrums. Kids thrive on attention, even negative attention. Where you go from here depends on your child. Some children will calm down if you pick them up and hold them. My first son was like that. His storm would dissolve if you just gave him a big hug and told him it would be all right. If you picked up my second son during a storm, he would hit you -- there are different ways to get him to calm down. Each child is unique. One thing that often works very well is to try to voice to the child what he is going through. "You must really want to get this, don't you?" Then he may melt and say, "Uh huh." You will have to experiment with your son to see what it is that can help him understand that everything is okay, these bad feelings will pass, and that it's all a normal part of growing up. Whatever you do, if your child had a temper tantrum to try to get something, don't give it to him, even if you would have ordinarily done so. Giving in to tantrums is what spoils a child. Giving in is the easiest, quickest solution in the short run, but it damages your child, prolongs this phase, and ultimately creates far more discomfort for you. Choosing your son's long-term gain over such dramatic short-term relief is part of what makes properly handling temper tantrums so heroic. Instead you might say, "Sorry, I would love to give you what you want, but because you had a temper tantrum, I can't right now. Next time, let's do that." Stand by your child during this difficult time for both of you. When you feel yourself getting tense, again say to yourself: temper tantrums are a beautiful, albeit painful, part of growing up, so take a deep breath, relax, and remember, "Dr. Greene thinks you are beautiful, courageous, and worthy of high praise!" (Comment on this)
Monday, April 24th, 2006
9:56 am	Temper Tantrums http://www.drgreene.com/21_556.html My 19-month-old son has always been a good boy and has done whatever I asked him to do. Recently he started refusing to do anything I ask of him. He has started crying and hitting me even when I ask him to do simple things. Where have I gone wrong? What should I be doing differently? Will he always be like this? Redwood City, California Dr. Greene: Children of perfect parents (if there were such a thing!) would still need to go through the developmental phase your son is going through. Ideal children do NOT always agree with their parents. Ideal parenting does not prevent the "Terrible Twos" -- it helps children navigate them. Although children are each born with a unique personality, their early experiences are profoundly influenced by their physical states and by their environments (primarily their parents). Thus, early on, your son's desires tended to be either responses to physical needs (he was hungry and wanted to eat, he was sleepy and wanted to sleep, or he had a soiled diaper and wanted you to change it) or reflections of your desires. He wanted things that made you happy, that engaged your attention. When you smiled, he smiled. When you became tense, he became emotionally agitated. Through that first year a wonderful dance between parent and child developed as your son mirrored your moods. Because his moods were usually in synch with yours, he seemed like a "good boy." Gradually, though, sometime after he had mastered walking, an irresistible urge to make his own choices began to well up inside him. This is an exciting development, but the difficulty with his making an independent choice is that he must disagree with you in order for the choice to be his own. Now, when you ask him to do something, he refuses. It is unpleasant to have anyone passionately disagree with you. When this opposition comes from your own little delight, the situation is decidedly disagreeable. Many people call this important phase of development the "Terrible Twos." I prefer to call it "The First Adolescence." This period begins long before age two and actually continues long afterwards, but in the majority of children, it is most intensely focused around the period from one-and-a-half to three years of age. The hallmark of this stage is oppositional behavior. Our wonderful children instinctively want to do exactly the opposite of what we want. We have nice, reasonable expectations and they say, "NO!" or they simply dissolve into tears. Suppose you have some place to get to in a hurry. Your son has been in a great mood all day. . . until you say, "I need you to get into the car right now." He will, of course, want to do anything except get into the car. As if this weren't enough, children in this phase of development have a great deal of difficulty making the choices they so desperately want to make. You ask your child what he would like for dinner, and he says macaroni. You lovingly prepare it for him, and then as soon as it's made he says, "I don't want that!" It is perfectly normal for him to reverse a decision as soon as he has made it, because at this stage, he even disagrees with himself. His task is to gain skill at making appropriate choices. To help him accomplish this, offer your son limited choices at every opportunity. He will be demonstratively frustrated when he is given direct commands with no options. He will decompensate if he has too many alternatives. Two or three options generally works best. Make sure the choices you offer fall within an appropriate agenda. Your son still needs the security of knowing that he's not calling all the shots. When it's time to eat, say something like, "Would you rather have a slice of apple or a banana?" He feels both the reassuring limits that you set and the freedom to exercise his power within those limits. If there are two things he needs to do, let him decide which to do first, when appropriate. This phase is difficult for parents; it is also hard for children. When children take a stand that opposes their parents, they experience intense emotions. Although they are driven to become their own unique persons, they also long to please their parents. Even now, when I do something that my parents disagree with, I feel very conflicted. I am an adult, living in a different city, with well-thought-out choices -- and it is still quite difficult. For a child who is tentatively learning to make choices, who is dependent on his parents for food, shelter, and emotional support, it's even more intense. Dissolving into tears is an appropriate expression of the inner turmoil that is so real for children who are in the midst of this process. I like to think of the process as similar to childbirth. Labor is a very intense experience. Pain, after pain, after pain eventually produces something beautiful-- a child is born. The episodes of oppositional behavior in "First Adolescence" are psychological labor pains -- one difficult situation, then another, and another, and as a result your son's own persona is being born psychologically. This is a beautiful (but difficult) time with a truly worthwhile result. As an oak tree is already present in an acorn, this aspect of your son's unfolding development was already present when he was conceived. Although you will have a large impact on its course, it's not caused by something you are doing wrong, and it won't last forever. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
10:06 am	Throwing Fits http://www.drgreene.com/21_1499.html My daughter is 3 years old and has allergies. I have been divorced for about a year and a half and she has been throwing horrible fits for about as long. She hits, bites, pinches, and kicks. I have tried ignoring her and I have tried talking her through them. I am out of ideas and am very frustrated. I also have tried to talk to her dad about being consistent in how we handle them, but he says she doesn't throw fits for him. When I have seen her do it with him, he coddles her and gives her all kinds of attention. I don't know what to do. Dr. Greene: All kids throw some fits at some time. Those who continue are getting something out of them. It might be attention, coddling, or even just a chance to express rage. Receiving different responses in her two different settings makes it much more complicated. The ideal for her would be to have her meet with a counselor who could then meet with each of the parents to come up with an agreed-upon plan on how to deal with this. Your pediatrician probably knows who is the best in your area. It might be a psychologist, psychiatrist, MSW, or a behavioral pediatrician. It often helps to give kids a constructive way to throw a tantrum. Explain to her: no hitting, punching, kicking, scratching, or biting. For one of my kids we had a special pillow that he could pound when he was mad or we had him run laps around the house. If she has a plan in advance, it might be easier for her to keep a little control. Also, be sure she knows in advance that when she has one of these, you won't be able to give her what she is asking for. Also, check any medications your child might be on. Some allergy medications, such as Benadryl, can make moods unpredictable. It can also decrease their ability to learn during the six hours or more after they take it. If she needs an antihistamine, one that doesn't enter the brain is better, such as Claritin or Zyrtec. Talk to your pediatrician about these options. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
10:11 am	Sharing http://www.drgreene.com/21_209.html Ownership And Sharing Rules For my children, we have three rules of sharing to help teach respect: If you want to use something that belongs to someone else, you must ask first. When the kids go visit someone else, we are teaching them not to run and grab the toys, but to ask (unless, of course, the toy is offered). When others come over, our children can relax knowing that we will gently defend their possessions -- "In our home, we ask each other before playing with others' things." Sometimes the kids give longstanding permission: "Sure, you can play with that whenever you want--you don't need to ask." When someone asks to use your things, you can't simply say, "no." Nor do you have to say yes. But if you decline to share, respect the other enough to either give a reason or suggest an alternative, such as "Let's take turns," "You can play with it, but only inside," or "That's my very favorite, but you can play with any of these." Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. This comes in handy when considering how to answer someone who wants to play with your things. It helps you decide, too, when and what to ask of someone else (I know he just got that new toy, and I like to play with my new toys). This rule is also a wonderful guide for how to handle and care for others' things when you are using them. Clearly, these rules are ambitious, sometimes taking a lifetime to really learn. But children are hungry to sort these issues out, and as they mature they find these rules a satisfying solution. Ultimately, our children learn more from what we do than from what we say. They learn best when what we do and say coincide. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
10:27 am	"Why?" http://www.drgreene.com/21_564.html My three-year-old keeps asking me "why?" about everything. Why is the sky blue? Why are there clouds? Why can't I go outdide? Why do I have to be nice? Sometimes it doesn't seem to matter what the answer is, he's never satisfied. And I m exasperated. How do I handle his questions? Palo Alto, California Dr. Greene: You've asked a question I've heard over and over from parents all around the world. We love to hear the quaint expressions our kids come up with as their language skills blossom, but sometimes their insistent questions seems a bit like the drip, drip, drip of an ancient water torture. We're frustrated for two reasons. Often we don't know the real answers to the innocent questions they ask, but even when we do, our answers don't slow the pace of their relentless questions. That's because we've misunderstood their language and think that when they ask "why?" they mean the same thing we mean when we ask why. Our cause-and-effect answers miss the mark, and so they fail to satisfy. I'll give you the key to unlock their language so you can answer the real question behind their many, many "whys." Then both of you can revel in the joy of your communication. When your son was born, his only method of communication was to cry. He used the same sound to mean, " I'm hungry," "I'm bored," "This diaper's on too tight," "My tummy really, really hurts!" "I miss you, mommy!!" and the myriad of other things he was experiencing, feeling, and thinking. An amazing thing happened -- you began to intuitively know what his cries meant, and he began to use slightly different cries to express different needs and desires. Your dance was clumsy at first, but in a brief time the two of you developed your very own language, gliding across the verbal dance floor with style and grace. When children begin to learn real words, the words usually don't correspond exactly to the way adults use them. Often a specific word is used to indicate an entire category or visa versa. "Dog" might mean any animal, while "meow" might mean "cat" -- but only one cat. These early discrepancies are cute and obvious -- and should be caught on videotape if at all possible. But by the time children are able to speak in sentences, it sounds deceptively like they mean the same thing we do. This happens at about the same time their curiosity, imagination, and creativity skyrocket. They begin to ask, "Why?" "Why?!?!" "WHY, Mommy, WHYYYYY?" I've found that, when I try to answer children at this stage of development with the reason for something, they are left cold. After conversing with thousands of children, I've decided that what they really mean is, "That's interesting to me. Let's talk about that together. Tell me more, please?" When I've connected with children and begun to spin a tale to answer this question, they've sat enthralled. There was no need to mention because, or therefore, or cause, or effect. They don't need to know why, all they need is animated attention and me saying whatever came to mind about that subject. After a brief interchange, we were both happy. Let me give you an example. I remember when one of my own sons asked me why the sky was blue. I told him that on sunny days the sky was blue and that on cloudy days it was gray and that at night it was very, very dark. Sometimes in-between day and night, it's a pretty pink or orange. And there are cool things in the sky. The sun gives us heat and light. It's like the stars, only closer. There are planets that go around the sun, and we live on one of them, called Earth. Notice that I didn't at all answer why the sky is blue, but I did connect with him and answer his real question. He was delighted with our interchange and I got an enthusiastic "cool," not another automatic "why?" We both won. When babies cry, they are not just asking for food or a new wardrobe. They are asking for you! Our young scholars are curious and eager to explore the world, but they are still asking for you. They want to explore this fascinating world with the people they feel the safest around and love the most. This communication dance doesn't end with the "why" phase of development. As children grow, their communication skills become more refined, and it is often more difficult to hear the "That's interesting to me. Let's talk about that together," underneath the surface. As we look for the invitation into our children's lives and relate to them at their level of interest, we'll find countless opportunities to engage with them. This communication dance is not an easy one. Every time we learn the steps, they seem to develop a new set of moves. So, what does "Mom, can I borrow the keys to the car?" really mean? :-) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
10:38 am	Temper Tantrums http://umanitoba.fitdv.com/new/articles/article.html?artid=475 Temper tantrums are natural to toddlers whose reach exceeds their grasp. It’s not easy being two. Limited speech combined with unlimited desire can unhinge even the most good-natured toddler. For flummoxed parents, however, there’s nothing quite so horrifying as the sight and sound of their adorable moppet morphing from obliging angel to mutinous monster in the time it takes to say no to a package of gummi bears at the supermarket checkout. Kicking, screaming, pulling hair and throwing things make for an embarrassing scene but they’re also symptomatic of a perfectly normal stage of development. “Temper tantrums aren't about anything you've done wrong as a parent. They aren't a sign that anything is wrong with your child, and they really aren’t about temper, either – they are actually an abrupt and sudden loss of emotional control due to your child's immaturity. They are common throughout the toddler, preschooler and early elementary years,” says Elizabeth Pantley, Washington-state-based parent educator and author of several books, including Gentle Baby: No-Cry, No-Fuss, No-Worry (available at www.amazon.com ). The years from one to three, in particular, are fertile tantrum-throwing territory and are equally common to boys and girls. Underlying reasons for tantrums usually involve frustration or the child’s desire to emotionally manipulate the people around her. While it's normal for your child to have tantrums, your response determines their frequency according to Pantley. By giving in and rewarding bad behavior, you’re teaching your child that these seismic explosions are worth the effort because they work. Whatever you do, keep your own emotions in check. “Avoid responding to your child's emotional outburst with one of your own. Your anger will tend to escalate your child's eruption. Instead, control your own anger first by closing your eyes, taking a deep breath and calming yourself. You'll be better off if you take the time to calm down and then approach your child from a more level-headed position of strength,” says Pantley. Tempering the Tantrum Habit: Elizabeth Pantley offers a variety of suggestions designed to help you curb your child's tantrums: Create a Tantrum Place: Inform your child that all tantrums are confined to one specific room. When a tantrum starts, escort your child to the tantrum room and say, "You can come out when you're done." Repeat as often as necessary. Tantrums are no fun without an audience! Teach Self-control: If your child has tantrums and can't seem to calm down, teach her how to control herself. Hug and rock her, speak soothingly as the tantrum abates. Distract her by washing her face and offer a drink of water. Don’t give in to the original request. Remain calm. Remove the Audience: Assuming there’s no safety issue, announce that you’re leaving the room. Keep busy, be patient and wait for your child to calm down. Use Distraction: When you see your child beginning to lose control, use distraction to ward off a full-blown outburst. Avoid frustration by varying activities. Prevention as Cure: Offer a choice. Instead of saying, “Get ready for bed right now,” which may provoke trouble, offer alternatives. “What would you like to do first — put on your pajamas or brush your teeth?” Avoid Problematic Situations: Don’t let your child become overtired, hungry or over-stimulated. Tantrums often occur as a side effect of other problems. If your child is tired, put him down for a nap; if hungry, provide a snack; if upset with a friend or sibling, separate them temporarily. Never run errands with an over-taxed toddler. Always keep children’s natural limits in mind. Last Resort: If your child has frequent intense tantrums, talk with your pediatrician, a counselor or family therapist For more advice go to Pantley’s website at www.pantley.com/elizabeth And what about those dreaded big-kid tantrums? Pantley suggests that when your older child loses control, send her to her room until she cools off. “If she doesn’t go to her room as asked, she’ll lose a privilege — decide in advance what that will be — telephone, TV, or bike, for example. This is, of course, in addition to the fact that she still must go to her room to calm down.” (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 18th, 2006
10:44 am	Temper Tantrums http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/hc/par/info/tantrums.jsp How to Handle Temper Tantrums Everyone knows what it's like to witness a child's temper tantrum. Even before you had kids of your own, you may remember standing in a grocery store line behind some woman who may have uttered that two-letter word no 2-year-old wants to hear - N-O - only to be met by wailing and whining from the child. Temper tantrums can be hard on parents and kids. Parents get frustrated and embarrassed, particularly if their little darling is acting up in a public place. When children have tantrums, they, too, may be expressing frustration, anger or disappointment. Why do children have tantrums? Temper tantrums are a normal part of a child's development as he learns self-control. Emotions are hard for young children to hold inside, and hard for them to express in words. So, when they are frustrated, angry, or disappointed, they often cry, scream, stomp up and down, and may even throw themselves on the floor kicking and screaming. Children have temper tantrums when they aren't getting their own way, to get a grownup's attention, or when they are tired, hungry or feeling helpless. Nearly all children have tantrums between the ages of 1 and 3. Some people call them "the terrible twos." After age 3, temper tantrums taper off as children learn to express their feelings. Children who cannot express their feelings well with words are more apt to continue having tantrums. Temper tantrums may also continue, even when a child is older, if there have been unusual changes or stresses in the child's life. Don't be surprised if your child has tantrums only in front of you. For one thing, this is one way he can test your rules and limits. For another, children feel safer showing their feelings to the people they trust. Can temper tantrums be prevented? You can't prevent all tantrums, but you can reduce the odds of your child having one if you follow these suggestions: Make sure your child is well rested, especially before a busy day or before a lot of activity. Keep a daily routine as much as possible, so your child knows what to expect. Avoid long outings or keeping a child out late beyond her bedtime. If you have a trip, bring along your child's favorite books or toys for entertainment. Encourage your child to use his words to describe feelings. You might suggest words that can help your child express feelings, such as "I'm really angry." Let your child make choices when possible. If your child resists taking a bath, you can be firm about the bath, but you might ask which toys he would like to pick to bring in the bath. Allow transition time when changing activities. If your child is having fun, he will need some time to switch gears when he must change to another activity. For example, if he's playing as dinnertime approaches, give him a five-minute notice that you will be eating soon. How do I deal with a tantrum? You see it coming, but it's too late. The tantrum has begun, and now what do you do? Here are some suggestions that can help you both get through it: Distract your child by calling his attention to something else, such as a new activity, book, or toy. Or interrupt his behavior with a comment like, "Do you see what that kitty is doing?" Changing your location may work. Try something like, "let's go outside and look at the flowers." Humor, or making a silly face, can work, too, sometimes. Try to remain calm. Shouting or becoming angry is only likely to make matters worse. The general rule is the more attention you give a tantrum, the more likely it is to happen again. Ignore it, if it's minor. Either stand quietly and wait until it's over, or silently pick him up and leave the scene. This might mean leaving a store or a checkout line and taking your child to your car to calm down. If you are unable to leave the child alone for safety reasons or because you're in a situation where you can't leave (such as on an airplane), holding her may comfort her. Some temper tantrums cannot be ignored. The following behaviors should not be ignored and are not acceptable: Hitting or kicking parents or others Throwing things in a dangerous way Prolonged screaming or yelling Use a cooling-off period or a "time-out" to remove your child from the situation. For children old enough to understand, a good rule of thumb for a time-out is one minute of time for every year of your child's age. For example, a 3-year-old would get a three-minute time-out. What shouldn't you do during a tantrum? Never punish your child for a temper tantrum. He may start to bottle up his anger or frustration, which can be unhealthy. Try to respond calmly, with understanding. As your child grows he will learn to deal better with his emotions. Do not reward your child for stopping a tantrum. Rewards may teach your child that a temper tantrum will help her get her way. Don't try to reason with your child during a tantrum. Logical explanations are unlikely to be heard through the crying and yelling. Don't change your "no" to a "yes" just to get your child to be quiet. Letting your child have his way may solve the problem that instant, but if he learns that throwing a tantrum will help him get his way, he'll surely try it again. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 17th, 2006
10:45 am	http://www.naspcenter.org/behavior/tantrums_ho.html Temper Tantrums: Guidelines for Parents By Robert G. Harrington, PhD University of Kansas Every teacher of young children and every new parent can expect to witness some temper tantrums in children from age 1–4 years. On average, temper tantrums are equally common in boys and girls, and more than half of young children will have one or more per week. At home, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger temper tantrums, such as bedtime, suppertime, getting up, getting dressed, bath time, watching TV, parent talking on the phone, visitors at the house, family visiting another house, car rides, public places, family activities involving siblings, interactions with peers, and playtime. Other settings include transitions between activities, on the school bus, getting ready to work, interactions with other children, directives from the teacher, group activities, answering questions in class, individual seat work, and the playground. Characteristics of Temper Tantrums All young children from time to time will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy their teachers and parents. Temper tantrums, although normal, can become upsetting to teachers and parents because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. On the other hand, temper tantrums can become special problems when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the child. There are nine different types of temperaments in children: Hyperactive temperament predisposes the child to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity. Distractible temperament predisposes the child to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver. High intensity level temperament moves the child to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened. Irregular temperament moves the child to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need. Negative persistent temperament is seen when the child seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining. Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the child complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others. Initial withdrawal temperament is found when children get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people. Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when children resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities. Negative mood temperament is found when children appear lethargic, sad, and lack the energy to perform a task. Developmental Issues At about age 1 1/2 some children will start throwing temper tantrums. These bouts of temper tantrums can last until approximately age 4. Some call this stage the terrible twos and others call it first adolescence because the struggle for independence is similar to what is seen during adolescence. Regardless of what the stage is called, there is a normal developmental course for temper tantrums. One-and-a-half through 2 years old. Children during this stage will test the limits. They want to see how far they can go before a parent or teacher stops their behavior. At age 2 children are very egocentric and cannot see another person’s point of view. They want independence and self-control to explore their environment. When children cannot reach a goal, they show frustration by crying, arguing, yelling, or hitting. When children’s need for independence collides with the parents’ and teachers’ needs for safety and conformity, the conditions are perfect for a power struggle and a temper tantrum. The temper tantrum is designed to get the teacher or parent to desist in their demands or give them whatever they want. Many times children stop the temper tantrum only when they get what is desired. What is most upsetting to caregivers is that it is virtually impossible to reason with children who are having a temper tantrum, and arguing and cajoling in response to a temper tantrum only escalates the problem. Three-year-olds. By age 3 many children are less impulsive and can use language to express their needs. Tantrums at this age are often less frequent and less severe. Nevertheless, some preschoolers have learned that a temper tantrum is a good way to get what they want. Four-year-olds. Most children have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on an adult. At this age, children also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergartenage and school-age children can still have temper tantrums when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school. Prevention for Parents and Teachers It is much easier to prevent temper tantrums than it is to manage them once they have erupted. Here are some tips for preventing temper tantrums and some things you can say: Reward children for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to temper tantrums, catch them when they are being good and say such things as, “Nice job sharing with your friend.” Do not ask children to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It’s suppertime now.” Give children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the child can stave off the big power struggles later. “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?” Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity keep the scissors out of reach if children are not ready to use them safely. Distract children by redirection to another activity when they tantrum over something they should not do or cannot have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.” Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the temper tantrum. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.” Choose your battles. Teach children how to make a request without a temper tantrum and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.” Make sure that children are well rested and fed in situations in which a temper tantrum is a likely possibility. Say, “Supper is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.” Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.” Create a safe environment that children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so children can explore safely. Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the child’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things. Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction. Signal children before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.” When visiting new places or unfamiliar people explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.” Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the child’s developmental level so that the child does not become frustrated. Keep a sense of humor to divert the child’s attention and surprise the child out of the tantrum. Intervention for Parents and Teachers There are a number of ways to handle a temper tantrum. Strategies include the following: Remain calm and do not argue with the child. Before you manage the child, you must manage your own behavior. Spanking or yelling at the child will make the tantrum worse. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the child’s frustration, this child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the temper tantrum. Try to intervene before the child is out of control. Get down at the child’s eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention. You can positively distract the child by getting the child focused on something else that is an acceptable activity. For example, you might remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate toy. You can place the child in time away. Time away is a quiet place where the child goes to calm down, think about what he or she needs to do, and, with your help, make a plan to change the behavior. You can ignore the tantrum if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the child calms down, give the attention that is desired. Hold the child who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself or someone else. Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help the child calm down. Parents may need to hug their child who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for a child who may be afraid because he or she lost control. If the child has escalated the tantrum to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-out (see “Resources”). If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell the child that you will go home unless he or she calms down. In school warn the child up to three times that it is necessary to calm down and give a reminder of the rule. If the child refuses to comply, then place him or her in time-out for no more than 1 minute for each year of age. Talk with the child after the child has calmed down. When the child stops crying, talk about the frustration the child has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid temper tantrums such as how to ask appropriately for help and how to signal a parent or teacher that the he or she knows they need to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan.” Teach the child how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his or her feelings with words and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming. Post-Tantrum Management Never, under any circumstances, give in to a tantrum. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the tantrums. Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what he or she wants. Do not reward the child after a tantrum for calming down. Some children will learn that a temper tantrum is a good way to get a treat later. Never let the temper tantrum interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with the child. Teach the child that anger is a feeling that we all have and then teach her ways to express anger constructively. When to Get Help For parents. If, despite the use of these interventions, the tantrums are increasing in frequency, intensity, or duration, consult your child’s doctor. You should also consult your child’s doctor if the child is self-injurious, hurtful to others, depressed, showing signs of low self-esteem, or is overly dependent on a parent or teacher for support. Your pediatrician or family physician can check for hearing or vision problems, chronic illness, or conditions such as Asperger’s syndrome, language delays, or a learning disability, which may be contributing to your child’s increasing temper tantrums. Your physician can also direct you to a mental health professional who can provide assistance for you and your child. Resources Agassi, M. (2000). Hands are not for hitting. Minneapolis: Free Spirit. ISBN: 1575421127. Greene, R. W. (1998). The explosive child. New York: Harper Collins. ASIN: 0060175346. MacKenzie, R. (2001). Setting limits with your strongwilled child. New York: Prima. ISBN: 0761521364. Nelson, J. (1999). Positive time-out and over 50 ways to avoid power struggles in the home and the classroom. New York: Prima. ISBN: 0761521755. Reichenberg-Ullman, J., & Ullman, R. (1999). Rage-free kids. New York: Prima. ASIN: 0761520279. Website Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies— www.behavior.org (See Effective Parenting) Robert G. Harrington, PhD, is a Professor in the Department of Psychology and Research in Education at the University of Kansas and has trained teachers and parents in behavior management of children and adolescents. © 2004 National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814—(301) 657-0270. Reprinted from Helping Children at Home and School II: Handouts for Families and Educators (NASP, 2004), available from the NASP Bookstore. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
10:53 am	Whining From www.toddlertamer.com "Stop Your Child's Whining In Three Easy Steps" Here are three easy things you can try with your toddlers to ease the whining. They are fast, fun and effective. 1. Teach your child what a big voice sounds like. You need to teach your kids the difference between a whiny voice and a big voice. One way to do this is to let them know what each voice sounds like. Be dramatic, and have fun with this one. Show them your whiny voice and then show them your big voice. Demonstrate the advantages of a big voice. For example, the big voice gets the juice, the whiny voice doesn't. Enjoy yourself and let your children know what you expect from them in a loving way. 2. If the whining continues pretend there is a bug in your ear. When your kids start with the whining, pretend that you hear something, but you don't know what it is. You can be creative with this one. It could be a bug in the ear or it could be a creature from the planet Zarx. Go with what works for your kids. When you use this simple technique, it gets the message across that the voice they are using is not working and will not get them what they want. 3. Your child is still whining? Time to go hard of hearing. You modeled what a big voice sounds like, and the whining continued. You moved to the "bug in the ear" trick but that didn't get the message across. Now, you simply go hard of hearing. That's right. You can't hear them. Again, this can be accomplished in a loving way by saying something like, "hmmm, I wonder why I can't hear you. I see your mouth moving, but I can't hear a thing. I can hear a big girl voice or a voice that is calm like mine. But my ears can't hear that whiny voice anymore." Try this combination of techniques to put an end to your child's whining. It works. Be persistent and show your child what is expected of them in loving and effective ways. Good luck and have fun! (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 13th, 2006
5:18 pm	Hard Boiled Eggs From another provider: These are the results of my very non-scientific egg-boiling experiment! I hard boiled 96 eggs last night. I tried a few different methods and I've come to the conclusion that: The 20-minute boiling method and the 3-minute boil, 17 minute sit method both produced hard boiled eggs. Some I ran under cold water after, some I did not. I cracked a few open, and some had green rings, and some did not, but the green occurred in both sets of eggs, no matter if they were run under cold water or not. Hard boiling an egg in the microwave made it explode. Putting an egg into water and leaving it in the sun all day to "cook" did not hard boil an egg. Playing music for the eggs as they were boiling did not have an affect on their ability to boil well. We played rock, and country, and a soundtrack for a musical. Singing along did not impair the eggs either. Feeding the hard-boiled egg yolks to my dog gave her bad, room-clearing gas. It did the same to my 12-year old daughter. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 10th, 2006
5:42 pm	Hard Boiled Eggs If your hard-cooked eggs end up with an unsightly greenish ring between the yolk and the white, they're either overcooked and/or not chilled after cooking quickly enough. For perfect eggs, follow these 4 steps: 1. Place eggs in saucepan in a single layer and add enough cold water to cover by an inch. 2. Bring water to a boil, remove from heat, cover, and let sit 17 minutes. 3. Remove eggs from pan. Place in a bowl of ice water for 5 minutes. 4. To peel, tap egg on a counter to crack shell, then roll, pressing down just enough to crush it. Peel uner cool water starting at the large end. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 9th, 2006
5:44 pm	Easter Egg Hunt Ideas The Hunt! The Easter Egg Hunt is something fondly remembered by so many of our visitors. I found it especially wonderful how many families add their own unique details to the occasion! I hope you find something new as you read about these traditions, and that you smile at the differences. Kisses for Easter For my daughters first Easter,I left a trail of Hershey Kisses from her room to her Easter Basket. She is now 7 years old and just thinks that the trail of candy is the greatest thing. I believe she looks forward to this more than her basket. ~Lisa Smith Follow the Clues We have a family tradition that we have passed along to several other families who adopted it in some form. When our children got up Easter morning they didn't find a basket. Instead there was a plastic egg with a clue inside. This led them to another plastic egg, which led to another, and so on. Up to about a dozen eggs. They had so much fun they were almost disappointed when they got to the basket at the end. When they got older we had them make up clues for each other. It's been a great tradition. ~Carol Peterson An Easter Note I just started a tradition a few years ago, of hiding plastic Easter eggs with little notes inside, telling what their prize is. It can be in the form of a poem or just a clue(like this goes hippety hop). I buy little items such as candy eggs, or a little stuffed Easter eggs or bunnies for prizes. I make sure everyone does get at least one prize, but most get around three. I have 10 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren that participate in the hunt, needless to say even the older ones enjoy it. It seems my children enjoy it more then the little ones do! So after the Easter dinner everyone is anxious to hunt! ~Joyce Bohling The Easter Spider My parents came up with a different twist on the traditional Easter bunny. We had the Easter spider. We (my brother and I) came out of our rooms on Easter morning and we each had an Easter basket just outside of our door. Tied to the Easter basket was a string and we each had to follow our own string throughout the house and around and over and under furniture all over the house. It was a blast!! As we followed our string we found treats along the way. ~Amy Hale: Easter Post-It-Notes I used to hide treats in a pathway, and at the end, the boys would find an Easter surprise! When we got a dog, my sons were still young, but old enough to read. If I hid the treats, the dog would get them before Easter morning. So I used post-note and wrote the next clue on each one. I did up about 15 for each boy. Such as, look in freezer, check in dryer, backseat of car, anywhere around the house! My sons are 21 and 18 now, and they still look for that first post-note on their bedside table every Easter morning to begin 'the hunt'! ~Sandra Ashmore (Comment on this)
Friday, April 7th, 2006
5:31 pm	Cleaning Toys Dishwasher for any toys that are dishwasher safe. Larger toys go into the downstairs tub for bleaching. Toys that are frequently "mouthed" go into a laundry basket after the mouthing, I run those through the dishwasher during naptime and return them to their places before the kids wake up. The laundry basket makes it easy for the providers without dishwashers, too, because they could just spray down the toys and rinse them in the tub while still in the basket, and allow to drip dry. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
5:32 pm	SIDS PROTOCOL 1. begin CPR immediately 2. call 911 3. get help to care for the other children 4. call the childs parent or emergency contact 5. call the parents of the other children 6. do not disturb the scene 7. notify your licensing agency and insurance agency Of course you cannot do all these things at once but this is what you need to do as soon as possible with your grief, your adrenal glands exploding, and your heart pounding. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 3rd, 2006
12:48 pm	Sensory Table Ideas potting soil and bulbs or artifical flowers Goop (water and corn startch) Colored shaving Cream water and minnow dirt and worms leaves Torn and crinkled wrapping paper Colored Ice cloth pieaces wet sand wood shavings bath sponges sea shells drift wood (Comment on this)
Friday, March 31st, 2006
12:37 pm	More on time outs We use "thinking chair" instead of time out. I want the child to learn from what they did. They have to tell me what poor choice,they did and what good choice they will use next time . ~~~~~~~~~~~ I do have a formal "time out" area, but I've never labeled it as such. I have a little stool in my kitchen that children sit on when they need to take a break from the action. Usually a look, or a gentle reminder is all it takes for some children to get back on track. But for some children, they need a break from the other children so that they do not continue to hurt the others or hurt themselves. That's when I use our little stool. It's certainly discipline, not punishment, and the children ALL know what being directed to the little stool means. I don't have to post a sign, or raise my voice, or humiliate the child in any way. My stool is in a boring corner of the kitchen where there are no distractions. Plain white walls in that area, nothing to look at or touch or play with. Because of the way my classroom is set up (half wall between the kitchen and classroom) the child can "hear" but not "see" what is going on in the other room. And I am able to stand in the kitchen with the child taking the break yet still be part of the action in the classroom. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Think how you would feel if when you were angry and No One listened. I do what you did with every child. They can choose to sit with a book, (alone) sit with a pillow (alone) first but they always have to come talk to me before they can return to play. If they choose to talk with me first I tell them why they are there and then when they are ready and they can tell me their plan for returning to play. Then we will talk about whatever the child wants to talk about. You would be surprized the things a child will tell you during these times that gives you better insight into what gets them hot under the collar or what is happening in their lives that have a direct link to the behavior. If you don't find the cause and help the child deal with it you are not truly helping the child you are just helping yourself is how I look at it. I get to a point with each child that all I have to do is smile across the room or just give a perplexed look and the child will stop and re-think it. I am not a disciplinarian I am a caregiver. I want the children to choose to act appropriately because it makes them feel good not because of a time out chair. (Comment on this)